Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Space Cadet

        Sometimes I'd really like to kick ADHD in the ass for the burden it's been on my life. I admit, sometimes it can be kind of humorous the way I trail off into my own little world for a while. Memories of the nickname "Space Cadet" I acquired in grade school come to mind. The kids got a kick out of that one.

Yep, that's me.

        It wasn't a big secret that I had issues paying attention to the tasks at hand among my classmates. A little fun was poked, no feelings hurt. Besides, it wasn't like I had some sort of disease or disorder... that anyone knew of. At the time, my teachers, classmates, and family simply viewed me as "interesting" which was then magnified by the escape from the real world I manifested in Mrs. Kearn's art class. I didn't have superb artistic abilities, and still don't, but it interested me enough to the extent that I didn't have to remember anything. For a brief period of time I could simply just be and do my thing. It wasn't until english with Mrs. Daphne that my ADHD finally got the best of me and I was soon diagnosed with it. My other teachers were frustrated by my lack of an attention span but Mrs. Daphne was a whole other kind of irritated with it. The class was required to bring to class with them everyday, a blue pen and paper. It could not be a black pen, a purple pen, a green pen, or a rainbow pen. If you didn't have a blue pen, you got a zero for the day. Every single day, I either forgot the blue pen, or I forgot the paper. I could not for the life of me remember both or sometimes either one.

curse the damned blue pens.

        Eventually my grade got low enough that parent teacher conferences were a weekly event. No-one could grasp the concept that for whatever reason, blue pen and paper was just not processing in my brain. Sadly, I cried my eyes out every week thinking that I was doing something wrong until someone got the grand idea to take me to be psychiatrically evaluated and I was diagnosed with ADHD. Honestly though, this didn't help much because my stomach didn't sit well with any medication. Being in an emotionally numbing, mind controlling bubble didn't exactly appeal to a 12 year old either.

much like the dirty bubble from spongebob... except you know, with mind control.

        Regardless, things seemed to eventually work themselves out. Teachers were a lot more accommodating and understanding. I went a little goth for a while there but hey, it happens to the best of us. ADHD is one of those disorders that sort of "phase in" and "phase out" of your life. Of course it doesn't just go away like magic, but it felt like it phased out for all of high school and like the shark from jaws it's creeping its way back into my life. Thankfully, I'm an adult and know now how to better handle it. That's why I have my handy dandy journal and you can bet your bottom dollar I write just about every remotely important thought process I have down in that thing. As for the few things that slip past the pen & pad (black pen, mind you. I have a grudge against blue); well, that's just part of what adds a little flavor to my life. It's like a special surprise, every day. 

Surprise! Your memory sucks!

        What really brought all this up is just that I was laying in bed trying to sleep when my brain started throwing up random thoughts that didn't get ran through earlier in the day... like my newly repaired pearl ring that I took off to wash my face. I told myself repeatedly while I was washing my face, "Don't forget to put your ring back on after you are finished." You can guess what I did not do. The ring is still sitting on the counter in the bathroom. Not that it's that big of a deal I went a day without my ring, but it's just mind boggling to me that I can remind myself a hundred times to do something and still not manage to succeed in doing so. So I got the idea to tell you all a little more about this part of myself and well, I wrote it down... before I forgot to.


Anonymous said...

Wonderful ;)

Anonymous said...

I love you.

Fibby's Modern Life said...

We love you too, anonymous.

Fibby's Modern Life said...

or should I say... STEPHANIE DUPREE.

Anonymous said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL......this shit is so funny! PLEASE write a book.

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